So about this I highly recommend for you to keep the thought, “If you wouldn’t sleep with you, why would you expect someone else to want to?” At the back of your head, trust me, keeping a quote like this as a reminder great for improving upon yourself.
In the past I personally have had experiences with lingering moments of sadness (borderline depression), however, a nihilistic like quote has led me to feel less and less from the external pressure. Such quote goes as follows, “Without pain life becomes meaningless, making death the same.” This quote struck a cord within me and whenever I’m struck with sadness or dealt pain I come to remember this passage and it has really helped me.
Yes, lowering your expectations does lead to being with someone you have no connection to, whilst bringing your expectations up too high would leave you to come off as snobby, you’ll also only be chasing those who don’t want you.
I slightly disagree with you by raising expectations. If you’re trying to attract someone the first thing you must do is think of what you’ve said before. Then, start improving yourself off of your own flaws, if you’re quite chubby, start losing weight (fight me if I’m body shaming you damn woke liberal), if you’re socially awkward (I used to be like this), then be more outgoing and start having fun around people, they’ll notice these small changes. Once you’ve raised your standards a bit after working on yourself then girls would take interest (not head over heels, more like they’ll see you as a good partner), the rest would be up to you my friend.
It’s not wrong to settle for someone you don’t want. Sometimes, you need to help yourself and tell yourself, ‘stop, I don’t want this.’ However, if you’re ever stuck in a situation where you’re with a person you don’t really connect with then make a connection, start having fun around them instead of trying to come off as cool, they’d rather have a fun, loving guy then a serious macho man. The worst thing when it comes to dating is not getting to know the person before you start going out, that just makes communicating awkward and ends up leading nowhere.