You believe in equality but not feminism. The problem is that you, and many men (and some women), believe that feminism is all about women being treated exactly like men. I don’t understand why you need to use the same example as “oh, a woman can hit a man but not the other way” or that “men have been holding doors open for women”. So what? It is not acceptable for anyone to hit another person, simply put. But we cannot ignore the fact that a man, on average, is physically stronger and can therefore cause more harm to a woman. In the same time, a man can withstand a hit from a woman (this is a poor argument but only raised to show why the difference exists).
You say that men are expected to open doors for women–well, this is a social norm based on the principle that a man is physically stronger and can therefore open a door for someone. It is a social norm for men to open doors for other men. Does someone need to be strong to open doors? No. Will you sleep better at night if women open doors for you? I’m really confused.
The pay gap exists although it is getting better. Now, if you are working at a job with a fixed wage/salary, typically you do not find gaps in pay between men and women. However, the problem becomes evident when we are dealing with higher paying jobs that require some negotiations. Some have argued that women do not negotiate as aggressively as men do. This may be so. However, we know that business/corporations have been cutting any corner they can to save money throughout history. “Why pay a woman the same as a man when you believe she will be leaving to be a mother at some point?” This is a prevalent argument raised by many companies. You complain why women get paid higher in modelling and in porn?!? It’s the same reason men get paid big bucks in sports. Like you said, rarity and high demand. Case closed.
You might it surprising that I am man and I am more than annoyed at men like you who whine and complain about women and feminism as though it’s some disease that’s inflicting your life. You use examples that are not even real issues (opening doors, seriously!) and you equate that with the real issues some women face in society. Maybe you need to see it to believe it. I don’t know, but in the mean time you should be more concerned about what kind of man you are.