Pandas are highly overrated animals

Updated on February 12, 2015 in Celebrities
7 on February 12, 2015

I’m an animal-lover, and I’m not for letting pandas die out or anything. I like them all right. They’re good models for National Zoo souvenirs. They look like they’d be good to use as living pillows.

But I do think they are highly overrated animals. Here are the reasons why:

1) They don’t do anything, really. Pandas *might* be even less active than cats, which is saying something. Basically, they just sleep and occasionally eat some bamboo. That’s it. Not very interesting to watch.

2) They are destined to die out, short of massive human intervention, and have no survival instinct. As I say, I’m all for the human intervention. I’m just saying, I’m not convinced the chances of survival for an animal species that seems pretty ambivalent towards sex are very high. They also don’t seem great at keeping baby pandas alive when they do magically appear. This sucks for pandas, but I’m not sure that they’re really well-geared, evolutionarily.

3) They’re not even real bears. Or at least, there’s a good chance they’re not. In fact, they may be overgrown, less color-diverse raccoons. Seriously.

4) Out of all the cute animals, are they really that much cuter? Are pandas really cuter than any of: cats, rabbits, otters, sheep, dolphins, bushbabies, or– let’s get real, here– red pandas? Red pandas are clearly cuter than giant pandas.

Again, I’m for panda conservation programs, and breeding more of them and I liked looking at baby Bao Bao, too. But are pandas really that awesome? Or are they just kind of average as cute animals go?

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1 on February 12, 2015

They do sneeze in surprising and amusing fashion.

on February 12, 2015

OK, that’s a valid point. Still, doesn’t put them in the same league as their red brethren, for my money, though.

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0 on February 12, 2015

I’m going to split my argument on this one. Yes, as animals, they are highly overrated. But we humans are a superstitious, cowardly lot.* We use the stupidest criteria possible to decide which animals are cool and which are not.

  • Pandas look like bears. They’re not, but they look like teddy bears. (Also see koalas.)
  • They’ve got that black-and-white color scheme. (Also see zebras.)
  • Is a baby panda cuter than a kitten? No. Is it cuter than a baby octopus? Yes.
  • They’re highly marketable. And profitable. (Now we get to the truth.)

* http://ninjabeaver.net/wp-content/uploads/2005/05/bat004.jpg

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1 on February 12, 2015

I gotta go with the Koala as the best bear.

on February 12, 2015

Not a bear 🙂

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0 on February 12, 2015

They are ridiculously cute. Imagine nature coming up with that color scheme from scratch, or it somehow evolving…either way, precious. I just want to hug pandas.

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0 on February 12, 2015

But you gotta admit, they’re delicious.

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